Well, I waited for the crackle glaze to crackle the paint, as promised on the especially- ordered- from- ebay £2.95 bottle! But, it would seem, that you get what you pay for and all that happened is that essentially, I ruined my painting!
I was, shall we say, a tad miffed and in my miff-ness, I sponged up in green and completely obliterated the part of the canvass that I was unhappy with. I'm not sure why it was green paint but I think somewhere inside me I was Mother Nature re-claiming the ruined ebay impregnation of my work.
In the breast region where I had intended the cracked void, instead now in the layers of green acrylic, I formed with the sponge what appeared to be a small planet and it spoke to me. Off course, in Mother Universe's ultimate void, there is us, the planets, surviving precisely because of her Space.
I decided then that the intended womb area of my canvass would become another planet, this time, a representation of earth herself.
As I painted I felt an emotional re-connection to my canvass but when I stood back she still did not look or feel right to me.
I remembered the advice of Emily Underwood Leigh, who was 2nd Supervisor for my Finals during my MA Drama this year. DISRUPTION ...
I photographed the canvass and sat on the sofa rotating it and lo, upside down, it completely spoke to me. The golden breast now appearing to be aligned as the sun to my other bodily planets as they find balance.
And I had a little chuckle to myself because I know for sure a year ago, pre-MA, I would have been concerned that the viewer would no longer 'understand' my piece but the point is the viewer always understands the piece, but not from my perspective as the artist, no, from their own perspective, always. My aim is to bring about discussion and thought, to leave 'space' for consideration.
Indeed, throughout this journey I have been posting onto facebook the stages with comments as diverse as the following:
'What a beautiful piece.....both actually. ..art and blog. I felt deeply stirred reading and also watching the piece progress. For me, I felt my life being mapped...from a clear canvas (purity) through confusion and cracking (emotional pain) to beginning to form and reform. Finally acceptance of the beauty in brokenness and more than that.... a precious glory in the perfection of a heart and soul fused together with gold (love). Thank you
I think it looks like a Gorilla's chest.
And this is the place of Art in any genre; to create a different kind of space where the viewer is left wondering, thinking ...
In addition, I no longer feel the need for the gold leaf application to the painting that I had planned for the 13th day of Christmas, although off course, that might change once it gets here! But I know for sure that last year, I would have applied the gold leaf anyway because ... well, after all, I had bought is especially!
At this stage of my process, the lesson I feel I need to take forward into my research proposal is that of Disruption & Space. What have I learnt from experimenting in a discipline relatively alien to me about disruption and space and how can I apply this to my work more generally?
Seems I am left with more questions than answers! Qu'elle Surprise! Such is the nature of being an Artist living the disruption of her research.
A short digital film showing the journey can be seen on my facebook page at this link: