For those of you who have been following my blog for some time, you will remember that I started my Fusion Inspire journey at Morfa Isaf, in a field overlooking Llangrannog at the home of fellow creative and dear friend, Amanda Painting. It was at this place that I walked with a shaman healer and a dear friend across the fields, setting our intentions in the sunset.
So much has happened since then! I decided to return to Morfa Isaf Farm and bring my new concept 'gather' to this sacred place.
My first gather planted poetry seeds with a Spoken Word Event that I organised at Surf Cafe in Bury port. There is a regular gather there now without me, and one of the poets who attended was inspired to open his own Spoken Word Event called Tin Plate Poets in Cross Hands, who meet monthly.
But I didn't 'feel' that gather. It was great fun, but I didn't feel it creatively. I felt like 'the organiser' and not a creative. By returning to Morfa Isaf, collaborating with my friend Amanda Painting in kindly sharing her beautiful home, I would be returning to my own creative roots and inner self.
And it worked.
Yesterday was the first time in more years than I can remember, that I wasn't so stressed about 'the event' and this enabled me to be still & hold a space within me for myself, to be a creative, to experiment and to share my own practice with my peers.
I suffer terribly from nerves and stress just before an event that I am organising and this consumes me to the extent that I can not deal with my nerves as a 'performer'. It had become that I did not perform at Events I organise, in order to deal with this. But I have never intended to be an Event Organise over being a creative!
My MA drama has made me question the notion of performance and authentic self, and also to chose audience as a creative and this has had a huge impact on my practice. I will forever be indebted to my Superviser Jodie Allinson, who guided me on this tumultuous journey, because it was her voice and steady hand that I felt hold me strong in the sunshine, under the billowing fir tree sharing Mantra, Mudra & personal story.
And so it is that this morning I feel calm and beautiful and overjoyed and part of something bigger than the sum of its parts.
I thank my gorgeous fellow creatives for the threads that we hold between us.
And in my heart I know this, just by coming together in this way, by 'be'ing the human being that the Universe intended, we are making change. How utterly beautiful is that.