Thursday, 15 October 2015

Living Total Truth

I find myself at a point of great transition, with many important things hanging in the air; Where to live, how to immerse myself full time as an 'artist' in my own right, the financial concerns, physical exhaustion, broken heart ... I expect you know some, if not all and more of this list too, yes?

Rather than worry about these things in the way I would usually, rather than make endless lists of how to solve all my problems simply by ticking off the things on the list, I have been allowing my thoughts to float past me on a flowing river of life. A bit like a really important game of pooh sticks! Watching ideas float alongside each other as they bob and jostle, travelling light beneath the bridge.

And I stand on that bridge, calmly focussed on my breathing. I have let go of the constant stress of finding potential solutions. 

I have done this by imagining they are autumn leaves of all different sizes, textures and colours. I have looked at them and wondered at the beauty of each one without lingering and then let them go back to the flow of the river, waiting to see the other leaves that come. 

This evening, a new leaf came. one that has never come before; one that is making my heart skip a beat. A thrilling, challenging, exciting, immersion into how I want my life to 'be'. A chance at total truth; a beautiful, blissful risk. 

The river has stood still, this autumn leaf does not want to leave and the river does not want to take it. I will sleep with it under my pillow ... 

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