Haiku; wise, concise trainer

Today, I have been training myself to become concise! My assignment report, to be handed in next week, has been such great fun, but trying to get it into 3000 words is killing me! I need to focus on exactly what is most important to enable the whole flavour of the research.

So, to get myself tuned into this pruning, I have spent most of today thinking in Haiku.

Haiku are short poems that use sensory language to capture a feeling or image. They are often inspired by an element of nature, a moment of beauty or a poignant experience. Haiku poetry was originally developed by Japanese poets, and the form was adapted to English and other languages by poets in other countries.

Traditional Haiku have a structure of 17 syllables and elude to the whole rather than give everything to the reader.

These excercises have really helped me. What I have found is that I have all the most important words left in the sentence, which enables me to move them round. A bit like having your favourite pieces of furniture in a small room, and moving them around until they feel right for you. I like the words to have multi purpose, so that the last word in a sentence 1 might make sense as the first word in the next.

Here's one of my Haiku from today, as an example 

Rainfall heavy, now 

clouds calling, sorrow sodden

Dry eyed, yet skin wet

Open Umbrella

Shielded fast, against the pain

Come under with me

This has given me an idea for my Reflective

Practice Assignment, also to be assessed this month.

I have written the story Mother Moon, as I have 

said in earlier posts. I have climbed right into the

character to feel her, not to emulate her, but to take

her into the storytelling with me. I have used

techniques to expand the stoytelling, which I will

describe in more detail in a later blog post. Now,

that I can breathe the character into the story,

I think it would be a really exciting excercise to

concentrate the emotion and poignance of the 

storyline into a series of Haiku. This would bring

me into  sharpest focus with the beauty and intensity

of the piece, where every word and nuance counts.

And I would like to write this collection of Mother

Moon Haiku looking out to the sea where the story 

was written; my beloved New Quay, on the West 

Wales Coastline. Not entirely sure I will have time 

to do that pre-assessment as the performance is 

24th and 25th January GULP!

Harlequin Hare: An overview of my first term on the MA Drama

So, here I am at the end of my first term of my MA Drama at the Atrium and it’s been a rocky ol’ ride. 

There have moments where I have just wanted to walk out and moments where I have been in tears for discovering more about my craft than I could have imagined. 

There have been moments where I have felt completely stupid, serving as a painful reminder of my childhood, to moments where I feel immense pride in the strong woman I have become. 

I have learnt to question my own creativity in a way that is similar to facing yourself in a truth mirror and through this journey, I have come to realise through all my lectures and sessions, observations, theatre goings, discussions with fellow students, reading and research, that I am ...

The Harlequin Hare

Who is the Harlequin Hare?  A character in a children’s book called The Butterfly Ball and The Grasshopper’s Feast (1973) based on the work of William Roscoe (1807) published by Jonathon Cape Ltd, London.  The book is primarily, a beautiful collection of illustrations designed by Alan Aldridge, with print plates prepared in collaboration with Harry Willcock and poetic verses by William Plomer. At the end of term, fellow student Ray Thomas, brought in the book for our adaptation lessons with Richard Hand and when I saw this picture of the Harlequin Hare I completely identified with him!

It is as if this term, slowly but surely, I have taken off each of the things I do and placed them on a table, even the Harlequin suit, and now I am stood as the Bare Hare, weighing up what, if any of it, I put back on, how I put it back on and why? Yes, why! Usually, my answers to why? Are: ‘because I like it’ ‘because the audience likes it’  but now I am looking very closely at what does each aspect of what I include within a creative piece, give specifically to this creative piece, within the context of its artistic contribution; what is the inherent iconography of the pieces included and what does the overall piece give that is bigger than the sum of those parts.

Let’s face it, we can see very clearly, that it will not be long before this poor ol’ Harlequin Hare in the illustration, gets tired and that the drum on his back will get heavier and heavier, the sound of the cymbals in his ears will lose their joyful ring, he will not be able to sleep for the sound of bells on his feet.

I have adapted the verses written by William Plomer for this illustration in the book and added my own to explain. I have not followed the same metre as William, as my words are like a contemporary extension granted planning permission on an old building; an extension that should work well with the old, but be very obviously new:

Harlequin Hare

Written by William Plomer (1973)

Adapted & extended by Cheryl Beer (2013)

Here I am

Here I come

I’m Harlequin Hare

I jingle and jangle, tinkle and strum

I’m mad and enjoy it

I make them all stare

Turning head over heels

now and then in mid-air

The madder the gladder’s my motto

As all who see me agree

I prance and I dance, and I caracole on

With cymbals and bells and accordion

You can bet that I’ll be

In good time tonight for the Butterfly Ball

Harlequin Hare

Will be there, will be there

I’m a one-woman band

Who dances & sings

I’m all that they ask

And I giggle at things

But what if drop

Both whistle and bell?

Drum, laid out before me

My cymbals as well

And then, had to choose?

Which things should I keep?

And which could I lose?

Now organised, neatly

A new market stall

Re-dressing my soul

For The Butterfly Ball

Perhaps I should think

What it might truly mean

For a hare to run free

With the sun dancing stream

To breathe in the meadows

With daises and corn

To sing with the moon

And dance for the morn

And how will they feel

When their Harlequin Hare

Is naked to fur

Skin & flesh bare?

Who will juggle their chaos

Patch up the thread bare?

Will I still be me

If I live on fresh air?

Would they rather pay

For me to stay

In their cage

Bowed down with commitment

And chained to their stage

Oh, but I have loved it there ...

For children all jump

And sing out with glee

When they hear my drum

And see ‘Harlequin’ me

The question is this:

Will they still care

For a stripped back and naked

Bare, Harlequin Hare?

During our lessons in Performance Live Art with Branislava Kuburovic,  she asked me the following, and I thank her for helping me to face some hard truth.

‘Why are you trying to fit together so many different artistic concepts? You have 4 beautiful ideas and you are in danger of ruining them all by overcrowding. This is about making your own creative piece. You are not organising the festival now.’

And it was the line ‘you are not in the festival now’ that touched me somewhere very deeply, and I had to leave the room for a moment to re-gain composure, because, to some extent, my life as well as my career,  has been become structured in such a way that I always feel that I am ‘organising the festival’ ; that I am the circus that bends over backwards to please and include everyone. I make a living this way and have done for a very long time.

Since this class, I have spent many nights lying awake wondering about it and I think it stems right back to my role in my family as a child. It has always been my role to make everyone smile, laugh, help them to keep their chin up regardless of how I feel inside. So, I have developed this other me, a ‘me’ who always tap dances and does jazz hands just to keep things afloat. A ‘me’ who couldn’t possibly let anyone else down, a ‘me’ who says yes to everyone but myself, a ‘me’ who does not allow herself to take off all the instruments and the harlequin suit and lay them on a market stall,  because without them, how could I carry out my role in the world, how could I function? And who would want me? Who would want the Bare Hare? Indeed, only a very small handful of people in my world, actually ever see her.

And then it occurs to me, in looking at the picture of this beautiful creature, as she is sat, ready to run free across the fields, that I must not only analyse the elements of my craft, but devise ways of being able to put them on and take them off, because quite frankly, I rather like the idea of running and skipping and jumping through daisy infused meadows!

In reading what I have written back to myself, I can see I have still missed the point!! What if ... running free through the corn fields IS my craft! Wow! What if I stripped right back, and being ‘just me’ with no whistle and bells, is enough. Oh God, I daren’t even nearly think it!

I am learning so much about myself, my craft, the structure of the business and making the time to pursue the research to enable me to grow. This term I have been weeding, pulling down the brambles that have grown around the roses. It has been hard work. But now the flower beds have space. My feeling is that next term will be about re-planting.

The Call for Moons

                                                                                                              Foto by Eiona Roberts

Part of my MA Drama is Reflective Practice. We have 2 practical assessments as 'work in progress' and then a final BIG production at the end of the MA. I would really like to take my story The Tethered Fairy Ring through for my final piece & am working on developing it, but for Reflective Practice 1, I have written a specific story to take to production that will enable me to push my boundaries and try out some of the things we have been learning this term.

I won't tell you the story of my 'Mother Moon' because that would ruin it for you, should you come to see it live, but I would like to share here some of the stories that contribute to the end production.

The first being ... The Call for Moons!

I put a shout out on facebook for pictures of moons and would like to thank ...

Eiona Roberts
Rhian Roberts
Jo Day Lewis
Mike Richrads
Darren Boxer
Michelle Jones
Paul Adams

... who did not hesitate to send me their beautiful moon photographs. I was so excited to receive them that I have already made a projection film which will be central to the story 'Mother Moon' production. I would like it to be projected onto the floor but I don't think that this will be practically possible, so will probably use a screen. I can hear the music in my head and can't wait to get into my studio to compose and record it.

I am so touched by the generosity of these photographers to jump to help me with my assignment with their wonderful pictures of the actual real MOON!!!

Thank you Photo Gallery

 showcasing one picture each from 

of the photographers:

 Michelle Jones

Jo Day Lewis

Mike Richards

Eiona Roberts

Darren Boxer

Rhian Roberts

Paul Adams

Living the secret dream

 

 Heaven's Atrium!

 

 

Last year, having my individual mainline grant from The Arts Council of Wales changed my world. It opened up my eyes to the depths and reach of my own creativity and brought me home to my artistic self.

 

When my funding finished, I knew that I had to hold onto that space in my life to create and make and write and be ... for ME! To make space just for myself, because it is who I am and what makes me feel most alive. I learnt that it is not selfish to make space for oneself to create, it is essential.

 

I reflected on the year & thought back to the child me, who wanted to perform, who joined St. Mary's Players at the age of 12 and played the lead for 5 years, the school girl happy to be in drama class and to the young woman who longed to pursue drama as a career.

 

But my family felt it was important for me to build what they insisted was a 'proper' career to 'fall back on'. 30 years ago, things were different; there weren't courses like there are now in performing arts. Working class girls from the estate, had done very well indeed if they were offered a place to train as a nurse, and as I was offered a place to train as a nurse,  that is precisely what I did.

 

I don't regret that for one moment. My creativity has always eeked it's way through ...

 

I wrote an age appropriate intergenerational pantomime, campaign poems with other student nurses, played in a band and in the stillness of the nursing accommodation block, I wrote my little songs on my guitar.

 

And then, after nursing, my first degree in Behavioural Sciences, a post graduate diploma in Careers Education (ironically!) and then a Masters in Social Science & Economics ...

When I got into my late 20's, I decided to throw in the towel as Director of WISE & join the circus, going full time into the world of mainstream music ... and it was fab, I toured with amazing people and had a wild old time.

 

When I was in my 30's I was offered the opportunity to get involved in community arts and from that time my life has become completely immersed in this type of work, to the extent that I have developed from a person who delivered workshops in a team or individually, to a person who has been a Song Consultant, Musical Director, Artistic Director and now a Creative Director.

 

People say to me ... 'You're so lucky to be following your dream.' But actually, if I'm absolutely honest, I stopped following my true, inner dream when I was 19 & did as my family felt best.

 

What I realised after my year of the Individual Mainline Grant, is that throughout my life, I have cobbled together the kind of dream that people like me, are allowed to dream; my dreams have been constrained by stereotype ; denying my longing to have pursued what was my inner most desire, a dream that I believed was out of my reach: drama.

 

I always say to people, 'How do you know about the Arts if you haven't experienced them?' and I came to ask myself the same question!

 

What informed choices have I been making in my life about my creativity? I have learnt from the opportunities that have arisen or from those I have made happen, but with no formal training in the performing arts, how do I know that I am all of what I might be?

And it is this train of thought that led me to apply for  a Foundation Degree in Performing Arts/Drama.

 

I went for the interview /audition and for the first time in my life, I felt as if I was a round peg in a round hole! I was able just to be ME! And no one found that odd or strange!

 

The tutor leading the interview gave me the most amazing feedback and I left there flying.

She said that drama was my gift!

 

I could have cried! In fact I did. The one thing that had been my hidden secret dream inside my soul, was my 'gift'.  I swear I walked taller that day.

 

She asked me why I was applying for a foundation degree and not the MA in Drama. I couldn't believe it! I said to her that I would never have the confidence to apply for the Masters Degree in Drama. She explained that she had done the course and loved it. She felt strongly that I should apply. I thanked her, but said that I could never even imagine applying.

 

When I got home, she had kindly emailed me saying that she would love for me to come onto her course , but if I could build the confidence to do so, I should contact The Atrium; she sent me the details of the course and number of the course tutor of the MA,  and asked me just to ring him for a chat.

 

So, I took a big breath and decided that I would!

 

I spoke to him at length and he said he could not see me for a chat unless I applied for the course.

 

I had nothing to lose, so I applied, telling hardly anyone about my secret! Secret in that I would barley tell a living breathing soul, so convinced was I, that I wouldn't get in, and it would be embarrassing having to tell everyone that I had been turned down!

 

And then I went for the interview ...

 

The Atrium is absolutely stunning! The facilities are out of this world. And as part of the Masters Degree in Drama,  I can also do a module in Film ... when I saw the film studio facilities I nearly fell over!

 

The Theatre spaces are AMAZING!!!

I was now fully at the golden gates of my dreams, my real in-depth, personal daren't tell anyone case I jinx it dreams.

 

Still, I told just a tiny handful of people about the interview experience. I swear I went to bed that night holding my breath!

 

And then, the next morning, it came!!! MY offer!

 

I am going to The Atrium in Cardiff in September to study the full time MA in Drama.

 

I quite simply can not believe it.

 

 

 

Thank you thank you thank you thankyou thankyou .... I want to type this a thousand million times .... thank you thank you thank you thankyou ...

 

Thank you for welcoming me to The Atrium to live my dream. I will now structure my life for the next year to give 110% of myself to the MA  Drama. I am more excited than a bottle of pop!

 

Funny thing is, I blog and write about my life on facebook almost every day. But this special personal thing has been mine now for nearly a month without me sharing it, because it was so special to me, that I wanted to cradle it in my arms and hold it close to myself before telling the world that dreams really do come true.


Additional Thanks to:

The Arts Council of Wales & Welsh Gov.t

To Suzanne Griffiths Rees: for supporting me with my Individual Mainline Grant
To Kate Strudwick for what must have been a glowing reference.
To Katie Marx at Bridgend College for building my confidence