Celebrating 40 Years of Songwriting Day 2

Flirting with Cliche from Snow Tracks :- Welsh Icons Album of the Year

This is the 2nd day of my Celebration- 40 Years of Songwriting. Today, I am sharing with you a track from my Snow Tracks Album released in 2011. 

It was Editor's Choice Album of the Year with Welsh Icons and launched at The National Botanic Garden of Wales.

Up to this point, I had been making Digital Stories to go with songs but Jeff had bought me a little video camera. I downloaded movie maker and had a go at making a moving film. 

My little sister was staying over with me and so she became the dancer in the piece, my kitchen the backdrop. 

It feels quite apt that my little sister and I should make this, my first film, together, being that she has sat on the end of my bed since she was a little one, listening to my songs. 

When I was a grumpy teenager humming and strumming in the bedroom, she would sit outside my door until I let her in. And ever since, every time I write a song or a story or a poem, I call her up and she listens on the telephone. She is my first critique. Comments range from complete silence, to not sure about that one to yep, that's the one ... 

If you would like to purchase the Snow Track Album it is now available at BANDCAMP as a download for £5.00. Here's the link ... 

40 years of Songwriting

Song Share: 'Mad Man' Written & Performed by Cheryl Beer  for The Dragon Tree.

I wrote my first song when I was 13 years old and it dawned on me today that this year, I will have been writing songs for 40 years. 

I have had a blessed life meeting amazing people and travelling all over the world to write and sing songs.

What started as a something to cheer the family at Christmas, became a lifetime of songwriting.

I have performed in just about every acoustic music venue in the UK, countless festivals, so many I have lost track and throughout the live music scene in Europe. 

I have toured India and was a special guest at the opening of Zimbabwe Women's Music Academy. I have given talks, won awards and played alongside people that were my idols.

But when I went deaf in 2016, I gave up all hope of continuing to live as a songwriter. It was too painful. The tinnitus and hyperacusis made live music untenable ... although I continued to write songs for myself to help me through the dark times, I gave up on my dream ... until this week, when something major shifted inside me. 

It is as if the tectonic plates of my being have shifted back into place, allowing all the pennies to drop. I am a Songwriter.

Perhaps because a dear friend has recently passed away, teaching me how precious life is, or perhaps because of a conversation I had with another dear friend, who is also a songwriter ... there is no need for me to know why the time feels right, just that it does.

All I know is that I am filled with this thought ...

Why shouldn't a 53 year old deaf woman with tinnitus and hyperacusis live her dream? 

What is stopping me? 

And off course, the answer is ... ME! 

And with this realisation, I picked up my guitar and wrote a song ... and then another one and oh my word, it felt so good. It felt like coming home, like being mended. 

Off course, I can't sing like I did because I can't hear myself very well, and the guitar is distorting in my head as I play it ...  but who cares! Somehow, I'll find a way to overcome these little obstacles.

In gratitude and to celebrate 40 years of songwriting joy, I am going to share my back catalogue here at my blog, posting songs from my Youtube & Bandcamp  clips. Today's Youtube Clip is 'Mad Man' written as part of a film I made called The Dragon Tree, funded by The Arts Council of Wales. (It's at the top of the page.)

It feels so good to be falling back in love with writing new songs ... I'm not sure where that might lead. Best set the intention and let the Universe work her magic, trusting that she will bring the right people into my world to make it it so.

If you would like, you can purchase tracks from my back catalogue here ... 

The enduring love of friendship

It's been a difficult couple of weeks. One of my closest friends has passed away. I loved her so dearly. She was one of the only people in my life who could tell me the truth, just like it is, in such a way that it would make me smile.There was never any malice or judgement in her observations, just love and what's more, she was always right.

We said goodbye to her this week at her funeral,  a very lovely send off. Off course it would be because, bless her, she had written a list for the vicar. Her casket was made with wicker and it wouldn't have surprised me if she had made it herself because she was gifted in all that she turned her hand to, playing harp, spinning, weaving, sewing... and brilliant in a very unassuming way.

Me: This is lovely wool, where did you get it?

Her: Oh, I spun it myself.

Me: Wow, I love this silk paper

Her: Oh yes, I made it myself

And always sharing her gift by teaching others. She was a fine harpist but more than that, she wanted to preserve the harp, particularly here in West Wales and so she set up the Welsh branch of Clarsach harp society. In fact, that's how I met her. I was running Celtic Womenfest for the National Botanic Garden of Wales in the Great Glasshouse and she was teaching harp over in the Gallery. We hit it off immediately and have been great friends ever since.

She taught so many of us how to play harp, touring all over Europe. Funny thing is, she was such a tiny little person that you could barely see her behind her harp, but you could hear her and feel all of her heart in her strings. In the video above, we are playing in Lower Normandy a piece entitled The Tethered Fairyring which I wrote for ukulele. She was passionate about preserving music and convinced me that we should notate the piece for future generations, which she kindly did for me. We had such a wonderful time working on it together that we took it to France to launch it, staying at an Artist's Retreat.

This last year as she battled with her health, we started less demanding adventures, spinning wool together, sewing little books together, enthusing over old button tins and generally putting the world to rights over a cuppa.

Although we were close, we never really talked about it, but the last time I visited her, the day before she took a turn for the worse, she stood on the doorstep of her home as I was leaving and I turned back as I walked up the drive ... 'I love you' I called to her ... 'and I love you' she said. We smiled and waved our goodbyes. It was the first time we had told each other, neither of us knowing that it would be the last thing we said. 

I share this personal story with you so that you feel inspired to tell those you love, what they mean to you. We none of us know when it will be our time, only that one day, it will be.

Susan Berry, thank you with all my heart for being my friend. Off course, darling, dying doesn't let you off the hook ... you are still  my friend and I will, no doubt, talk with you often and off course, love you forever xxx 

How the chakra can help deaf singers to pitch

I am sharing this today as it may help other singers who, like me, find that they are now deaf in their upper vocal range.

For me, having lost the ability to pitch in the upper range is exacerbated by my tinnitus and hyperacusis. Because of these conditions associated with my hearing loss, I can not hear my own voice in my head and find myself unable to locate specific notes and so, after a career that started when I was 5 years old, I felt forced to stop singing professionally. 

It was once I had stopped singing that I realised that my voice was so much more than an instrument for work. It is part of me, it is in my every fibre, an expression of self. My voice singing has been my friend in times of grief and my companion in times of joy. Frankly, without it, I have felt bereft. 

Once I had been issued with two hearing aids by the NHS in December 2017, I felt brave enough to start playing the guitar and writing songs again. 

One morning during practice, I decided to give my upper ranges a blast, even though I couldn't pitch there properly. To my surprise, I found that when I went to the note I was looking for, I could feel my voice vibrating at the sides of my nose and through the sinuses, just below my eyes. The sinuses are small air filled cavities behind the cheekbones and forehead (see diagram above).  

With this new information, I began experimenting and deliberately noticing where my body held tension and release for certain notes and tones.

So far, I have found that I can pitch by recognising these vibrations in my face and head. This has led me to start experimenting with other parts of my body with equally surprising results.

By releasing my stomach and relaxing the muscles of the solar plexus and sacral areas, this helps me levitate my voice upwards into my head cavity, where I can then use the vibrations in the sinuses to find pitch. 

In short, whilst singing, I am releasing the sacral and solar plexsis chakra,  and then using awareness of the third eye and crown chakra to maximise vibrational awareness of my voice in the cranial area, thus enabling me to find and hold the pitch that I can no longer judge just by using my ears.

It feels important to share my findings with you. It is early days but I am stepping into a vocal practice to explore and expand my research. I'll keep you posted with results. For now, I am joyous to be able to 'hear' my voice again.