For some time now I have been unable to make decisions in my life. People say to me 'listen to your heart' but the problem has been that although I can hear what my heart wants, I have chosen to ignore her and end up listening instead to my head.
My head is more concerned with how we pay the bills, how things might pan out, working out the what if's and the fall back plans. My head is concerned with promotion and saving face and complying to the myth that to earn a living, I must give up on totally committing to my heart.
Usually I end up writing long lists of pro's and cons for all eventualities but some things have more weight than others, so this never seems to work.
Today I decided I would put aside half a morning to be still and use my reiki to reach a solution.
After all, I am now a fully qualified Sound Healer and have my Reiki level 1 so let's see, I thought, if this will help.
I started the day by having breakfast in bed. Somehow it feels very decadent. I love being in bed at my studio because I can see the green hills stretching out into the distance. I made a point of really tasting every mouthful of my breakfast and being especially grateful for it.
I stretched out and thanked myself for giving myself this space and time.
Then I closed my eyes and focussed on the light and love of reiki entering my crown chakra moving through each energy point and anchoring to my sacral chakra, moving down my legs to ground me into the earth chakra. Once feeling connected and full of loving energy, I focused the light into the palm of my hands and placed them in the position for the third eye chakra.
Once still, I could see my perfect working week. Starting with Monday morning, I took note of where I woke up, how I felt, what I would be doing that day, how beautiful the world seemed. In this healing experience, I found all the answers I needed. I learnt to listen to my heart.
Afterwards, I re-visited my totem animal, the white butterfly that I spoke of in an earlier blog. I took myself on a shamanic journey, entering the being of the butterfly until we were one. I flew above the flowers but this time, I noted how far I could see, how blue the sky felt, how sweet the flowers smelt. Sometimes I landed and stayed, other times I flew higher and higher. I landed under a shaded Oak Tree and left a silver acorn at its roots. An offering maybe, or a reason to go back.
When I returned, I worked my way back through each of the chakra with love and gratitude at the abundance in my life.
I found that all the answers were within me and that love is always the answer.
I spent the afternoon walking along the river with my dog before making phone calls and emails, making my heart sing with deep joy in the anticipation of the changes that have now started.