The Letter : A Mother's Loving Suicide Note

Today's Song Share is called 'The Letter' inspired by the sad Letter written many years ago, by a friend of a friend. 

It is essentially a loving suicide note left by a mother to her daughters. On recognising that her cancer has returned, but this time is terminal, she is left feeling that she can not carry on. 

On one level, I hear her and understand how difficult a choice that must have been for her. On learning of her sad story, I laid awake at night thinking of how isolated and desperate she must have felt. It is almost unthinkable that her girls woke up to find her; heartbreaking. Is there even such a thing as a 'loving' suicide note, when leaving loved ones behind to such trauma? On the other hand, I think of all the love pouring into her words as she asks them to feel her on the beach and with the sea. Perhaps she thinks she is saving them from her pain.

I was so moved by her story that I could not put it out of my mind, so eventually, I wrote a song entitled 'The Letter' which features on my Little Fish Album. 

Just an aside to say that if you ever feel like leaving this world, remember that there are helplines you can contact. Today, things are very different. You do not need to feel alone like she did. There is a greater understanding and empathy. This link below is to This Morning's Suicide Prevention Helpline page with contact numbers of people that will listen and offer help if you can find the courage to reach out.

'Little Fish: Bare Bone Songs' was an HMV Album of the Month which is mind blowing really considering me and my partner, Jeff Beer, recorded it in our home studio under a wigwam of quilts, to blank out the sound of the traffic going past the house we lived in at the time. 

I am on vocals and guitar and my dear friend Jeff Rees is beautifully playing violin. On cello is Hugh McDowell. I met Hugh at one of Jeff & Kate Rees' infamous soirees, when we were both performing in the lounge of their home, a  renovated old school. I was so blown away by the resonance of the cello that I invited Hugh to come with Jeff to feature on the album. It was after he agreed that I found out he was in fact, the first cellist with The Electric Light Orchestra in 1972.

Neither Jeff nor Hugh rehearsed. It is a live take in the moment, captured by Jeff Beer who engineered for us. How privileged I am to have such gifted friends.