Balancing Compassion

Compassion is the core of humanity. For me, it is one of the most beautiful aspects of being human. To be compassionate is to be loving, kind and giving.

When I experienced sudden hearing loss, I became distinctly aware of how I had neglected to be compassionate to self. But how can I be compassionate to self when I am so busy being compassionate to others?

I learnt how from a friend who has lived with hearing impairment her entire life. I watched how she managed her time and was in awe of her wisdom, the ways she was able manage her energy levels in a self compassionate way. She was still loving, kind and giving to others but was equally as good at being compassionate to herself. She always looked beautiful, took great care of herself, invested in different therapies and activities. Her diary was filled with things that fed  her soul and enabled her to support others at the same time.

But I never seem to have time to do the very thing that I long to do, which is to spend time with my stories and poems. So, last week, I decided to draw a diagram & see how I have been spending my creative time. (See above)

To my disappointment, the purple and smallest segment was the amount of time I have been spending on my own writing.

The green section is how much time I have been spending on paid contracts, facilitating others to be writers.

The large blue section is how much time I have been spending helping others through my community projects

And then lastly the red section, is how much time I have spent on healing and therapeutic arts to distract from my tinnitus and hyperacusis  ... mostly in the evenings.

Now that I had mapped out my creative time, I was able to see that the majority of my time is taken up helping others. Now this is fine except it is currently taking me away from my own writing.

And then I had an epiphany! What if my writing and the telling of my stories were the thing that helped people! YES! My stories are all written during my healing pathway, perhaps by sharing them I might inspire others. By doing the thing I love the most, I can be compassionate to others AND to myself, all at the same time.

So, I am swapping the purple and the blue segments of my life. This will be quite an easy shift because the biggest change can be made at Quiet Space Studio, which I set up to enable me to work on my stories and poems but that has inadvertently, become a drop in for people. I will still do drop in and make appointments to see people but not all week. Just at designated times.

We are the keepers of our own schedule but it is so easy to fall into the same dance. It's almost as if certain ways of being have made permanent grooves. But being aware of them is a good way to being able to change them.

The second major change is that I have stopped randomly trying all sorts of crafts in the evening to distract my tinnitus and started making books within which to put my stories and poems. This feels so exciting. 

Now the blue and the red represent how much time I am focused on my own work ... I've only been trying it for 3 days but it seems to have made such a big difference to how I feel. 

Sometimes we can make tiny shifts and yet massive change.

Natural Dye Garden at The National Wool Museum of Wales

When my speech therapist told me about the natural dye garden she had been part of creating at the National Wool Museum of Wales, I couldn't wait to visit. 

Based in Drefach, it took me only 20 minutes to get there in my car. It was such a lovely visit and I felt totally inspired.

So, I thought I would do a series of blogs about my time there, this being the first. 

These pictures are of all the flowers in the Natural Dye Garden that is sited just outside the Museum building itself.

The funny thing is that although some plants look one colour, when prepared for natural dying, they come out a completely different one.

Sometimes it is the leaves that are used and other times it is the flower heads.

I love that these recipes are ancient. Take Woad for instance, the Celts used to use the indigo dye from the leaves to paint onto their faces.

Flowers are so beautiful to look at. They lift the soul. They give us wonderful aromas and their essential oils can help to give us a sense of healing. I am already deeply living the healing aroma of flowers with my essential oils, infusing my wool with them throughout the process of washing to weaving my fleeces but now I feel totally inspired to make my own natural dyes.

Except I would like to experiment using the flowers of my garden, of the woods across the road from my little weaver's cottage. What colours are in the flora and fauna of my village?

Living with a chronic illness is at times traumatic. At first, I drowned in how small my world had become. So, I made the decision that although my world is small, I would dig deeper into it and the joy of this is beyond words. If you had told me that I would be visiting flower beds at the National Wool Museum to become inspired to make natural dyes from the flowers in my village, undoubtedly I would have laughed because although I would have thought that it sounded like a perfectly beautiful thing to do, I wouldn't have had the time.

Make the time, my friends, make the time to ground yourself in the magic of small. It is humans that have placed a value judgement on size, not nature.

Essential Healing

One of the most amazing holistic therapies that has made a tremendous difference to my tinnitus is essential oils. I can not do without them. I have a cold air diffuser on all the time. I love them so much that I decided to stock them at Quiet Space Studio so that I can help others with their healing.

It has proved so popular that I am now a Senior Consultant with Neal's Yard Remedies and one of the things that gives me great joy, is blending essential oils with the Create Your Own range to match the individual needs of folk that come to Quiet Space.

Today for instance, a local farmer dropped in to ask me to make up a tincture for him that would help him to release stress and tension. When he arrived I was carding my wool and he asked me what I was making. I told him all about From Flock to Friendship ... and that I had set an intention with the Universe to keep sheep.

'And where will you keep them?' he asked.

'Mmm ... I don't know,' I replied, ' I am just trusting that the Universe will sort something out for me or else I would not have the desire.'

'I have 5 fields that could do with sheep eating the grass ... ' and with that he gave me directions to his fields which are literally at the bottom of the hill to my little weaver's cottage. He's coming back Friday for his Frankincense hand blended ointment. 

Now, there are a few things to consider here. First what is the likelihood of a farmer coming to Quiet Space Studio to ask me for a hand blended ointment and the second being the likelihood of that same farmer offering me a field for the sheep I don't even have yet. Affirmation indeed, that being a shepherd is meant to be.

When everything falls into place

Since setting my intention to keep sheep so that I can love them & chant healing mantra to them in return for them gifting me their fleeces to spin beautiful Circle of Friendship Bracelets, everything has been falling right into place.

I am having a lovely time at Quiet Space Studio Carding the wool, Drop Spinning and making bracelets. I keep asking myself, can life really be this simple and the answer is ... YES.

Then my Speech Therapist called me up to check how I was doing. She is so lovely. I was really struggling with speech for quite some time and I realise, now that I have a hearing aid, that my hearing loss had a great deal to do with why I kept losing my voice. Doubtless I have been raising my voice since I couldn't hear it in my head.

Anyway, I told her all about the Tinnitus Mentor Pack I am making with a focus on Holistic Arts and how I have become passionate about sheep.

I explained to her how I have decided to keep 3 Llanwenog sheep so that I can love them and chant to them and know that my bracelets have come from a place of total love.

Llanwenog sheep originate in Llanllwni which is just down the road from Quiet Space Studio. They are placid easy going sheep, just perfect for me and my bracelets.

Well, I could not believe it when my Speech Therapist replied that she actually keeps a flock of Llanwenog sheep. What are the chances of that? And what's more, she very kindly invited me to come over to meet her flock.

Even more exciting, she provides fleece for the spinning group at National Wool Museum of Wales, where they have planted a natural dye garden. 

My Speech Therapist has very kindly said that I can buy one of her Llanwenog fleeces so it looks like my bath will be filled with wool again soon. 

Seriously though, what on earth were the chances of my speech therapist ringing to check on me and as part of the call, I end up arranging to visit a flock of Llanwenog Sheep, a natural dye garden at the National Woollen Museum and owning a fleece. 

It is my feeling that there is a plan for us all & if we stop trying to work out what it is, it simply comes.

Funky little teabag holders

I love a cup of tea. A cup of tea can right the world. But it can be difficult to get good tea when I'm out and about. I carry my teabags around in my bag and can never put my hand on them. 

So imagine my delight when I saw that my friend Sharon Lewis was making teabag holders that fit neatly into the handbag or rucksack, in really funky material, and lovely buttons, too.

Sharon is now exhibiting and selling her teabag holders at Quiet Space Studio. I know I'll be buying one, for sure.

Welcome aboard Sharon.

If you would like to rent an Exhibition Box at Quiet Space, feel free to get in touch.

Resident Crafter at Quiet Space

When I was waiting for my hearing aids from the NHS, I was very poorly and couldn't go out of the house becauseof my hyperacusis, my friend Caroline Lane from Hembra Crafting visited me at home to share her passion for wool. 

Maybe it is because she, herself has a hearing impairment that she understood what I was going through, or maybe just because she is a lovely friend, either way she brought sunshine into my life. Since then she has been back and for teaching me all manner of traditional skills and generally being a wonderful support. She has totally inspired me and sparked my imagination. 

That's why I have invited her to be Resident Crafter at Quiet Space Studio. Last week Caroline came to teach me drop spinning and members of the community popped in or watched through the window as they passed by. Next month she coming to teach me hand dying with local mountain flowers. How exciting. 

Caroline now has an Exhibition Box at Quiet Space Studio filled with woolly lovliness. Her company Hembra Crafting that she runs with her friend Anne Batye, runs workshops and attends events. 

Caroline has very kindly offered to take my Circle of Friendship Bracelets to West Wales Wool on October 14th & to Llandovery Sheep Festival on September 23rd & 24th. This means that even though I am not well enough to get there myself, a little piece of my creativity is still out there in the world, and that feels very special. Thank you Caroline. 

Friendship, for sure, is a beautiful yarn to weave within the fibre of life. This week my lovely friends Susan Berry is coming with her spinning wheel to Quiet Space and teaching me to spin. I don't know if my hyperacusis will cope with the sound of the wheel, but unless I try, I'll be none the wiser. And it is my hearing aids that give me this knew found confidence to try.

Featured Storyteller at Quiet Space Studio: Steve Killick

What a busy week at Quiet Space Studio, LLandysul filled with special guests, featured storytellers and magical people. Steve Killick is all three of these. 

We were part of the same team at the Storytelling for Health International Conference earlier this year and quickly became friends. 

I was delighted when Steve accepted my invitation to become Quiet Space featured storyteller, driving up from Cardiff to Ceredigion for a private telling of his new story, How to be a True Friend, which is over a 1000 years old, starting as a piece that was sung in verse, passed through the ages to today.

Steve gives us a sneaky peek at the story which actually lasts about half an hour. He will be telling it later this year in full at Kemis Storytelling Suppers, Cardiff and is planning to tour it next year.

Tonight I have been editing a digital story of the telling so watch this space ... I'll post it here when it's all finished.

I AM WATERFORD

I just want to take some time out of my own creative journey to tell you about my dear friend Sean Corcoran over in Waterford, Ireland.

He is currently working on this absolutely amazing project called I AM WATERFORD setting up a group page where people from Waterford, who are living all over the world, can come and celebrate their cultural connections by leaving messages. In a matter of days the page has gone viral with over 8 and Half thousand Waterford people leaving their I AM WATERFORD messages.

I left a message saying that although strictly speaking I am not Waterford, I kind of wished I was because  they were making it seem so wonderful.

I have said it before and I will say it again, Sean Corcoran is nothing short of a creative genius and however brilliant we think he is, he always goes on to show us that he is even more brilliant than we thought. But I know his visions are made possible behind the scenes by the support of his wonderful family, so here's a massive shout out to Miranda and the children too.

If you would like to take a look at the page click HERE

PS: I am not sure who took the photographs but whoever you are, you did a tremendous job.

Circle of Friendship at Exhibition

People have said to me for years, 'Be still & Listen.' I am only just understanding the magnitude of taking this advice. Oh what bliss to take pleasure in the slow, gentle, quiet spaces of life, putting all my love into the making of small things just for the joy of it.

So what a surprise when my dear friend Suzanne Hughes-Owen,  invited me to exhibit my Circle of Friendship Bracelets at the Pwerdi/Powerhouse Summer Arts Exhibition, LLandysul.

There are so many amazing artists taking part and I am honoured that my little bit of love is cwtched in with them.

For the Exhibition, I have made a collection of Coastal Bracelets with shells from Cei Bach/Beach at New Quay.

The wool was spun on the wheel and gifted to me by another dear friend, Susan Berry from Carmarthen.

There is quite a story behind my Circle of Friendship Bracelets. You can read it  HERE.

The Exhibition is open for a month from this weekend. Full details of times and artists are available HERE.

The Healing Power of Pooh

One of the most wonderful things in my healing practice, has been clearing physical space in my life as well as emotional and spiritual.

Some things I have given to the Hospice Shop, others to friends and some belongings I have shared with friends on facebook to re-home for a small amount of money, enabling them to have the things they would like and me to know my beloved belongings are off to good homes.

My little Pooh family have lived in a basket on top of my wardrobe for more years than I care to mention, so I decided to re-home them.

A friend contacted me. When she was a child, her family had a house fire that robbed them of all their belongings. She was so upset that she lost her Pooh family and has always thought of them, even now that she is all grown up.

When she saw my post, she felt as though her beloved Pooh & Friends had returned to her. Here is a picture of them in their new home.

How moving. It is touching indeed that my belongings have gone to such a  lovely home.

My friend gave me £12 for my Pooh family and I am donating it to the Grenfell Tower Appeal through the Big Give. It was opened to raise emergency funds for the poor families of the Grenfell Fire in London earlier this year. By donating through www.thebiggive.org.uk my donation was matched, so that it increased to £24.00.

And this is the healing power of releasing 'things'. Just from my toys, I can bring about so much love. If releasing toys can bring such joy, just imagine what power releasing emotions can bring.

The Discourse of Transformation

And so it begins ... today I had my first meeting with Jenni and Ali, a wonderful couple living at Gorslwyd Farm on the Coast near Aberporth, which if you haven't been, you really should, especially Mwnt, but that's another story for another time.

This was our first meeting regarding their new venture. They currently run Gorslwyd Farm as 'Holiday Homes with a Difference' and alongside this have started offering more and more spiritually connected retreats. It is this power that they are now stepping into fully.

Their new direction is based on the key aspects of transformation.We hear this word applied frequently in holistic circles and so the 3 of us really dug beneath the cultural discourse of healing, into what the authentic truth is for Jenni and Ali in terms of their definitions, as well as their living experience of transformation itself. 

Indeed, change is a pathway that they tread almost constantly together as Yin and Yang. Jenni's strong spiritual connections and Ali's groundedness, combining to compliment each other, although for me, their journey is something more than the sum of their 2 hearts ... something additional, that I can't quite put my finger on. To be with Jenni when she is expressing her belief, is almost to witness the receiving of a download from somewhere beyond this realm.

What I love about design briefings like this one is my ability to bring my extensive skills as an ethnographic poet into the business context. It enables me to holistically capture not just the words, thoughts and sentiments of the other but a poetic from the perspective of their heart.

In business, every now and again you come across another like soul and have a deep meeting of minds but today feels like a meeting of kindreds.

I am home now thinking about it and I literally have a glow about me. Do you remember the Ready Brek advert with the child who glowed with orange? (see above)  Well, that is how I feel.

Funny thing is, if I had not lost my hearing and developed tinnitus and  hyperacusis, likely I would not be able to take this work with Jenni and Ali ... I would have been busy elsewhere chasing what I thought the Universe wanted of me rather than being still and having faith that all is well. Food for thought, indeed.