Is Dylan Thomas Following me?

To begin at the beginning, during my creative journey, I have followed the places to which I have been drawn; I have set things up following leads and then if it is meant to happen, so be it, I have not forced the issue. That in itself has been a learning experience.

But as I carry on along the paths laid ahead of me, I keep bumping into Dylan Thomas! 

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For instance, New Quay was a favourite  haunt of Dylan's all through his life and he even lived there @ 1944/45. There is  a Dylan Trail showing just how many of the characters from his work originate in New Quay:

http://www.tourism.ceredigion.gov.uk/pdf/DylanThomas2.pdf

I am so very drawn to New Quay since working on Fusion Inspire. I have always loved it but I can honestly say it's grown now into a daily longing.  I belong there, it is as if I can be more creative when I am there, the sea, the waves, yes, but not any sea or random waves, has to be the waves that choose New Quay.

I didn't think too much about Dylan while I've been there. I was aware of the trail because of the blue Dylan Trail signs, but not so much that I thought it to be significant to my personal journey.

But then when I went to Llangrannog, drawn there by the piece of music I heard on Classic FM written by Edward Elgar, his Welsh Tune, I asked a man outside a cafe if he knew where the plaque was for Elgar that is mentioned on the internet. 'That could be it over on the pub,' he said, but when I went over, it was not a plaque for Elgar, but for Dylan Thomas.

If you have been reading my blog from the start, you know how I am about 3 callings ... you can read about it on this blog page: http://fusioninspire.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/fusion-inspire-how-did-i-get-here-part_9308.html

So here's where I'm at with Dylan:

The night before cat sitting started in New Quay, Annie who owns the Dylan Thomas Birth House, invited me to perform at Cwmdonkin Drive to celebrate Florrie's Birthday. Florrie is/was Dylan's Mother. We celebrated Welsh Mam's Day. We had to choose a room to perform in and I said I would like to play in the front sitting room as it would have been somewhere that Dylan would never have been permitted to bring his friends. They were allowed wednesday nights into his father's office. And so, being the undercover rebel that I am, I played there for all the times Dylan had longed to.

Now I come to think of it, it is my second visit to Cwmdonkin Drive since starting Fusion Inspire .. remember I went to Mab's Poetry Workshop right at the start, and that was at Dylan Thomas Birth House too! Oooo goosebump moment .. BIRTH House at the start of my creative journey! Only just twigged that!

Second, I notice that everywhere I find of interest in New Quay is part of Dylan's Trail. He is said to have written prolifically whilst in New Quay so must have been drawn creatively to it in much the same way as I am.

Thirdly, when I went over to the plaque in Llangrannog pointed out to me by cafe man, it was not a plaque for Elgar, no .. it was a Dylan Thomas Trail plaque!

I was telling a friend this and he said, 'Hey. do you think Dylan Thomas is following you?'

And this set me thinking. I closed my eyes and listened to my inner thoughts and decided that Dylan is inquisitive. He wants to know what I'm doing. He's just keeping an eye, so to speak. Maybe he's waiting for the penny to drop and for me to finally realise that he is a very significant part of this coastline in terms of how the rest of world sees West Wales, through his work, his eyes and consequently for my production to overlook him seems absurd! (Now that I've thought it through with his guidance!)

Off course, a more scientific approach to this conclusion would be that naturally any creative will be drawn to these places because of their beauty and therefore it is a spurious correlation to believe anything other than that of coincidence or that creative people will like these spots. But I'm listening to my inner voice now, the one mother nature gave me, not the one I have been taught through socialisation! And she says .. Eh UP! 3 callings from Dylan ... time to listen!

So, in my prodution, As Dai follows his quest, he will notice Dylan out of the corner of his eye, as a blue face (reference to the trail signs) that always seems to be there ... he feels he knows him ..

'Do I know you?'

'Dai, it's me!'

'I'm sorry, I feel I should know your face but ...'

'Did you not sing at my mother's birthday party, for Florrie? Remember?'

'Ummm ... now you come to ...'

'Surely you remember? It was quite early one morning, you, me and Norman knocking about on these very streets?'

'Yes, yes, I think I do remember that Nogood Boyo'

'Drinking from Cut Glass in the Dolau Inn?'

'Was that me, my friend?'

'I'm watching you Dai, I'm trailing with you every step of the way.'

As I have been writing this tonight I have been thinking about my castle conumdrum after the risk assessment at Llansteffan, I've drawn a bit of a blank ... and I thought to myself, 'I wonder if Llansteffan is part of Dylan's Trail?' And guess what!! It is!!

According to http://www.inspirationalwales.com/Be_Inspired/Dylan_Thomas_Trail.aspx  Llansteffan is the setting for Dylan's short story 'The Outing'

Here is Philip Madoc reading Part 1 of The Outing:

So, I definitely need to go over to Dylan Thomas Boat House really soon. I love to go there but haven't been for ages. It's where Dyaln wrote Under Milk Wood (see first youtube clip)

I'm not sure why, but I need to be near him, so I'm not going to question it, I'm just going to go and see what happens, see how I feel, maybe take a glass in Brown's or have a cuppa and a piece of Bara Brith in the Boat House itself.

Mud Dancing at Llansteffan Castle

Teena Gould suggested Llansteffan Castle for my Tai Chi and Castles Film shoot so I decided to whip up there this afternoon to do a bit of a risk assessment.

We'll be with @ 30 primary school children who will embrace tai chi for the filmscape so I need to be sure it is safe & a recognised public area etc.

It's quite difficult to park at the Castle so I pulled over and walked up. It was absolutely lamping it down with rain!

It was quite a long walk up so I thought I would cut through up a little walkway ...

But it got quite steep so I thought .. 'mmm ... best turn back!' 

When I turned, I realised that I had actually climbed up quite high and behind me the rain had made the downward slop a very muddy place to be!

 

Not to worry, rather cunningly, I thought, I just used the branches of the overhanging trees to lower me down. It was tremendous! There I was, a middle aged woman alone in the woods, climbing and sliding in the pouring of rain, like I was a child of 6 years old again ... and then this overwhelming feeling came over me!

For some reason, completely unbeknown to me, I had this deep urge to take off my shoes and socks and stomp about in the mud! I wanted to feel it squelching in my toes!

'That's ridiculous!' I thought to myself as I took off my boots and socks and sunk my toes into the wet soil.

I looked up towards the castle. Years ago people wouldn't have had boots and socks. They would have walked this soil bare feet. And in that thought, I felt my soles had connected to something far bigger than me, than this castle or the huge house that peered over at me through the misty rain.

I had connected with the history in this mud. I felt the heart beat of the trees in that moment, the white belled flowers bobbing, the leaves licking at the trickling raindrops ... I AM ALIVE I shouted out loud.

And then I thought I heard someone coming! For a moment, the freedom was lost. The cell doors slammed shut. Oh my goodness, someone might see me, hear me ... BUT WHO CARES!

I carried on walking down the lane through the deep puddles to wash my feet clean and climbed back into my beetle.

'My feet are dirty with history inside these socks and boots,' I thought to myself.

When I got home, I ran a bowl of hot water with bubbles and sat on the sofa. I took off my socks and boots expecting my filthy feet, but they were clean as a whistle! Seems the puddles had fixed them after all. 

As I soaked them in the hot steamy bubbles, I could feel them wondering what mad cap adventure we would be going on next!

Tracing Elgar's Welsh Tune

If I have to sit for one more minute in front of this computer, I thought, I will blow a fuse!

So I put my coat on and decided to got to Llangrannog. Do you remember in an earlier blog I was saying that I had heard Elgar's Welsh Tune on Classic FM and it had influenced my computer generated industrial piece for the first movement of Dance the Ribbons with the children of the Eco Council??

Well, I thought it might rather be fun to go down to the beach where he was inspired and listen/record the sea and try to find the 4 part string section .. See if I could hear Elgar in the waves.

Imagine it ...  I've got my trousers rolled up, hair wild and random, up to my knees in waves recording the sea in different spots to hear the Bass, Alto etc when I am approached by a camera team making a film for Theatr Felinfach's Cultural Olympiad Celebrations ... so I ended up being in thier film :)) Fabulous!

It was great for recording and I so wish I had taken my little digital recorder but I only had my video. I will wait for another quiet weather evening and pop down again.

I couldn't find the plaque on Elgar which on the internet says is there, so will need to look again but a chap in the cafe said that Elgar was staying with friends from London at Pigeonston Manor?? Now then, I've looked that up on the internet and can't find it so I'm wondering did I hear him right??

Crystal Power

Emma in her Rainbow Crystals Shop

where she sells the crystals and offers spiritual guidance as a shaman healer

Do you remember Emma at the start of this blog? She was with me on the cliff edge in Cardigan Bay when I experienced the monumental sunset moments ... and is a Shaman Healer ...

 

Emma & Suzanne at Grethe's 90th at Mandy's place.

Well, I was in Newcastle Emlyn the other day, where Emma has a wonderful Crystal Healing Shop. I decided to pop in and say hello. It was so lovely to see her and I will always feel very connected to her. When you think it was her words that were part of the motivation that set me on this Creative Journey, it will excite you as much as it does me to hear that when I walked in, Emma said she had an affirmation she felt she needed to share with me.

She wrote it out for me: Remember for a Shaman Healer, the term God  embraces all deities. I don’t actually know very much about it, but I do know that Emma is a very special person in tune with the deepest parts of awareness.

Here is what she wrote for me ....

From the God of my being
To the God of the Universe

I forgive myself

I love myself unconditionally

I AM the ONLY authority in my life

                                                          And so it is

I struggled a bit with the ‘Love yourself unconditionally’ That’s not as easy as it sounds! I know I’m so much harder on myself than I ever would be on someone else. I think many of us are. I don’t look in the mirror for what’s right, instead have become a finely tuned machine that can focus in on everything that is wrong without seeing or knowing at all, the whole person staring back at me in the flat one dimensional frowning reflection.

You are your own authority ... mmmm again, I get so easily swayed. I use it as a strength when I’m Directing huge Community Events, my strength is bending to embrace everyone’s needs, but  I also do it in my personal life! If I have a personal decision to make, rather than trust my gut, I will do a random survey of my loved ones and consider the range of views as a more important than my own. So I’m going to really need to think this through ...

These are obviously very important things for me to consider. I had not popped into The Crystal Shop by chance, I was meant to meet with Emma and receive this affirmation so I will take it very seriously and spend proper time thinking it through and putting it into some context in my life.

Recording the Rhythm of Sign Language

The lovely Rachel Hargrave came round yesterday and recorded the percussion section of Mermaid Tales which will be the opening song in my production. It is her interpretation fo Maggie Hampton's signing of my lyrics .. it's very exciting hearing Rachel's interpretation. I thought I would want to put piano with it but funnily enough it works perfectly with an instrumental piece on ukulele I have written whilst in New Quay called 'Seagull' & have been working on this week. And it needs a bass line too ...

Here are some pictures of Rachel doing her wonderful thang in my studio :)

It was so exciting hearing all the layers come together

And as she laid down the tracks I could feel the waves, the boat ...

When she left I write a sea shanty to go at the start so that it leads to the build up of the Mermaid's Wrath!

Can't wait to put all the pieces together with the filmscape at Morfa Isaf later this year! Rachel will come with ehr drumming group, and any others of you that would like to join us, and the drummers will be sat in the rocks, at one with the rocks ... while the dancers are the sea ....

Clock Watching!

A Watch for Dai ...

Someone said to me yesterday that they were blown away by the level of detail that I am putting into Fusion Inspire. To be honest, all my work is this intense! I can only be motivated when I am passionate, and when I am passionate, I love to create layers that noone might even see or notice, but that are there as the foundations, the framework. It's how I work when I am Directing  Community Projects; Always open to opportunity.

I don't normally get the time to be this attentive to my own work but my Individual Mainline Grant from The Arts Council of Wales has enabled me to give the same focus to my own work as I do the work of others, and for this I feel as if I will always be eternally grateful!

In the picture, you see my latest layer to Dai and his past life ... This old pocket watch, with no hands, is an ex-service men edition ... what does it tell us about our character? Why does he still carry it with him?

• That he has taken control of even time itself?
• That he holds onto the memory of the friends he lost ?
• That he has few possessions and those he does have he treasures forever?
• That time has stood still, evaporated?
• That time should not be measured in minutes but in experiences?
• That he is holding onto the past?
• That he is a survivor
• Maybe it is his Father's watch?
• What if he stole it? What would that say about him? 

It's endless isn't it ... all this from a £2 ebay purchase!

I love the assumptions we make based on artefacts and how powerful that can be in a production ... think about it, your things will outlive you and in the future, people will make assumptions about you and your people based upon them! They will dig deep into the mud to find the bowls you ate from, the clothes you wore, your very bones will intrigue them!

Dai Collage! The Transformation Begins!

How to turn a 6 ft 2 plastic ex shop model into

A Welsh Language Translator

Jeff drills the holes into is his stomach (ouch) and cuts a square out of his back(looks a bit CSI to me!) to fit the speaker adapted from an old CD player of mine, so Dai becomes a speaker ready to house the welsh language translation of my production.

Now for his skin!

Using recycled newspapers from the west wales coast line

the collage starts ...

Paper maché: Have used 50/50 PVA and Water glue

And it sticks a treat

Just a bit of patience now ...

Have sat him on a stool in the lounge so that when there's a spare 5 minutes, whoever is passing can help out with sticking a bit on,

then it will be done in no time!

I have cut out all the relevant stories that I want for the top layer so that he is a good read.

Once all the scripts and lyrics are complete, I will get them translated and then find welsh speakers from around the west wales coast line to do recorded readings, which I will edit and mix with music, played through Dai ... if you'd like to take part in some recordings email cherylbeermusic@gmail.com

Dai will be the introductory installation before the live performances ...

This is the point where if I were on Blue Peter I'd whip out a finished collage translator and say ... 'Here's one  made earlier!'

Note to Self

Dear Me

Thanks for a great week in New Quay. I got so much done and yet had so much genuine, wholesome, fun. I cannot remember the last time I felt like this. Maybe not since I was a child. I NEVER set my alarm for Early O’Clock so that I can go out for a walk! I have never done that before in my entire life. I have really loved that I have wanted to do it, and the more I have done it, the more I have wanted. I thank my body for enabling me to do it after all this time!  I feel alive! Awakened in all my senses. I love how physical I have been this week. I love how I have talked and consulted with so many people and incorporated them into the story board. I have learnt that I am great company for myself and it’s been life changing to reunite with parts of me that I had completely forgotten about as well as finding new joys. Thank you self for being so strict about owning this creative time and for the realisation that this is something I will structure into my life when I go home.

'No' is NOT a forbidden word!  I have learnt that it is OK to want NOT to do something and to say that. I am not letting anyone down by saying 'No thank you' ... I am letting myself down by saying 'yes' when I mean 'NO!'

 I have enjoyed, every moment of being me this week!

 

I love that I forgot my hair dryer, my straighteners, my make up bag, my watch ... I love that I did not have internet access, that my phone had no reading and I REALLY loved not having a TV. 

Thank you Self, thank you with all my heart and bless you, you’re so hard on yourself, but actually, you’re jolly good fun to be with xxx <3

Singing with Dolphins! LITERALLY!

When I was in the pub, I met Stewart, the fisherman who had been on the boat trip earlier that day, when I had magically captured the dolphin on film and got lost in the mesmerising twinkle of the sea's smile ...

Stew introduced me to the Volunteers? Volunteering for what? For the Cardigan Bay Marine Wildlife Centre who are championing non-invasive research into monitroing the dolphins and marine life of Cardigan Bay. There are only 2 places in the UK where dolphins are semi-resident and New Quay is one of them.

I spoke with the volunteers. One of the things that the research team are doing is using hydrophonic acoustic equipment to record and identify dolphins voices.

OMG!! Recording the dolphins singing! I want to do that! I want to go and find Cadfael and his friends  and record their voices, sing with them, take their voices back to my studio and work on the most awesome and life enhancing collaboration of my entire life!

The volunteers said I should call in the next day and talk with Laura ... so I did. I explained everything to her and she suggested that I speak with Steve Hartley who runs the Boat Surveys.

He was very busy and couldn't see me but she said she would ask him to ring me. I gave my number but felt a bit flat thinking he probably wouldn't ring.

I was just about to go home, having a cuppa and a piece of bara brith cake, when my phone rang! It was Steve! We arranged to meet the next day.

What a totally gorgeous and wonderful human being he is! So busy and yet enough time to make everyone feel special. I explained all about Fusion Inspire, he explained all about the significance of the research, respecting the dolphins space, sharing a message of conservation, getting the word out there, drumming up support for the Centre ... I listened, said I would write into the production the conservation message ... that I would put their logo on my fliers ....

Steve offered for me to have access to their library of recordings!

'How kind but Steve, I must go out and record the dolphins myself, I have to feel it, if I can feel it, I can tell other people about it from my heart, I have to sing with dolphins.'

'Yes, OK then.'

'Yes, but I need to go out with you on the boat, I need to record them myself, to sing ..'

'Yes. OK'

'What, yes?'

'Yes, that's totally possible'

And there it is folks! I AM GOING BACK TO NEW QUAY AT THE END OF MAY TO GO OUT ON THE SURVEY BOAT AND RECORD DOLPHINS SINGING AND WILL THEN BRING BACK THEIR SONGS TO MY STUDIO WORK OUT HARMONY PIECES AND INVITE OTHER SINGERS TO COME AND RECORD ON A TRACK WITH THE DOLPHINS TO USE AS A SOUNDSCAPE FOR THE PRODUCTION!

Steve said that we may actually be able to find Cadfael, that they know his voice! Cadfael will actaully be in the production!

HOW TOTALLY AND UTTERLY IMMENSE!

In my career I have been truly blessed and collaborated with some of the world's most well know muscians. I have played alongside Lonnie Donnegan, opened for Sir Bob Geldof, Van Morrison, been on the same festival line up as Jools Holland .. but never has there been such an absolutely awe inspiring collaboration in my life, neither could I have ever imagined for one moment that this could even be possible! I am so euphorically happy I can barely think about anything else!

Every other word that comes out of my mouth is 'dolphin' ... 'Oh, did I mention that I am GOING TO SING WITH DOLPHINS'

'ER, YES! ABOUT 500 TIMES!'

And also, Steve owns a Caravan site with just 28 vans and not an Elvis Impersonator in sight! He took me down to Cei Bach where he is based, it is beautiful & I have to say it totally feels right but there are no sea views and these are very important to me, the feeling of space and far reaching vision.  I need some time to think things through properly. I have booked the holiday cottage for the end of May and will take it from there. I trust totally that the universe will sort this our for me! If I am supposed to have a place to go to in New Quay then it will undoubtedly happen!

p.s. did I mention that I AM GOING TO SING WITH DOLPHINS! ;)

Elvis has left the Building!

Well, I went for my 'Try Before You Buy' at the Caravan Park .. it was idyllic!

Peaceful & calm. The caravan was STUNNING! Just like a little house. Wood laminate floor, brand new kitchen and the view .. oh the VIEW!!

I whipped out the ink pencils that Sam and Amie had lent me and started to paint, had a bit of a jam on my ukulele, cooked tea on the little stove and all was right with the world!

UNTIL AN ELVIS PRESLEY IMPERSONATOR STARTED SINGING ON THE LOUDEST PA SYSTEM I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!!!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

My retreat, my escape, my bit of space for myself, punctuated by Blue Suede Shoes!

We were going to go home but it seemed a bit rude when Carwyn had been kind enough to arrange the night. It dawned on me that actually, a Holiday Caravan Site is going to be full of Holiday Makers! I know it seems a bit stupid of me not realising this before! The Clubhouse overlooked our van almost window for window. We closed the curtains.

In the end we went into the village to escape it but he was still

All Shook Up even when we got back!

The bed was very comfortable, the van was lovely and warm, the staff couldn't do enough for us, the restaurant was great ... but sadly it is not for me ... not unless Caravan Carwyn can magic up something tucked away quietly with a view ...

For now, Elvis has definitely left the building!

Dancing for Friendship : 1 Giant Leap

Sam Collins: Creative Artist

Whilst tucked away in New Quay on cat sitting duty/retreat, 3 friends popped in to visit me. One of them was The Dream Catcher from an earlier blog, my beautiful friend Sam Collins.

She was fresh back from a weekend with Jamie Catto (Faithless) who was one of the producers 1 Giant Leap, an amazing  project travelling the world for 6 months talking with and recording/filming musicians to edit into the most beautiful global film.

Sam went on Jamie's weekend and it sounds AMAZING!

One of the things that really caught me was a visualisation excercise that he did with them, asking them to think of their project and stating exactly what you want to happen with it ... no holes barred, cast away low expectations and modesty, ignore that which seems impossible, just to state exactly what you want, becasue that way the universe is aware, and so are you! (which is one of the same, cos if you think it through, we are the universe)

So, I'm going to have a go at it ... here's my first attempt!

• Dreamworks will contact me and ask to discuss the rights of The Dream Tree to make it into a film!
• I will be asked to come onto TV and Culture Programs to talk about the layers in my production!
• The BBC will contact me and fund me to make the next phase of The Dragon Tree ... I will be contracted to 'Fusion Inspire' all over the world
• I will be offered a publishing contract to make a series of books based on my Fusion Inspire Production
• I will be invited to travel the world recording Dolphin songs and make a global album harmonising with famous choirs and global dolphins
• My songs in the production will become part of everyday consciousness and in hunderds of years time people will still be singing them
• My new folk story will become part of history and people will believe The Dragon Tree has always existed!
• Heavens to Betsy, I will be the next JK Rowling!

Wow .. this is quite good fun! :) It's making me chuckle!! How naughty! Daring to visualise! Give it a go!

Thinking about it, I use to do this a lot when I was little and got told off for being an air head!


Anyways ... before Sam left she turned her msuic on and led me in a Nia Dance routine, just me and her (and Fudge with one eye sleeping) moving and energising to the pulsing rhythms of move specific composition. There's something very special about dancing with a friend. Thanks Sam! I felt completely energised and as she left, my next guest was arriving ...

The Shell Collector

I met an inspiration for a new character in the production today: The Shell Collector. In one of the little gift shops on the High Street in New Quay, 2 women roughly my age were working together in the shop. We started chatting, the 3 of us. Turns out that one of the women has a son who is in The Archers. I was telling her about Fusion Inspire and my Mermaid Scales (see earlier blog) and she told me that she collects shells from all over the world. She became so animated when she talked about them, her eyes shone like the rock pools bathing in the sunlight, as she described all the amazing places she has been to collect shells. She told me about the little yellow shells on the beaches here that she like to find, so tiny you would not see them unless you knew to look.

 

It was quite moving to see someone as animated about nature’s gifts as I am. Although she revealed a dark side to her passion. She was in Japan after the tsunami and she said there was dead coral everywhere, discarded huge lumps of different coloured evidence from Mother Nature that she is still the Boss. She then told us about all the shells and corals around the world in different countries that you must not collect as they are living, and that collecting shells is not about killing but in admiring that which is discarded by the living creature ... I liked that, a real collector, one who cares about the creatures who inhabit these wonderous shells.

I like the fact that I am collecting my mermaid scales as I feel like I am recycling them ... or up-scaling them from broken bits of waste to special treasure, impregnated with the story for YOU to take home from the production with you.

So ... The Shell Collector will be someone that our main character Dafydd meets on his quest, someone to offer him sound advice about living creatures, just before he meets Cadfael, The Warrior Prince of the Dolphins .... And what's more ...  I met The Shell Collector just before I myself, met Cadfael in the flesh!

Caravan Karma

Back up to the Caravan Park to see if this is where my retreat could be based ...

 Caravan Carwyn, who I have spent so much time with discussing the possibility of me being able to afford one of his mobile static homes, is now almost family and is likely to be coming to us for Christmas Dinner! Actually, joking apart, he may well  be pulling crackers with us if I buy the blooming van! The great thing is that the site only closes in January and Feb for 6 weeks. So actually, where the locals keep telling me I could get a much cheaper site, if you work it out pro rata the difference is not so grand.

Anyways, CC rang and said I could go up today to see my sites and look for the ‘perfect van’ I love the way he keeps saying that ... ‘So, we’ve found the perfect site, all we need now is the view’; ‘So, we’ve found the perfect site and the perfect view, all we need now is the perfect van’; ‘So we’ve found the perfect site, view and van .... ALL WE NEED NOW IS THE PERFECT MONEY! Ha!

My feeling is that Carwyn is a tad wasted working here. He loves it, that’s obvious because of the glint in his eye and the swagger in his step, he has lived caravans all his life, his parents had one and he adapted his room into a DJ’s Den with decks and bumping speakers ... but I think he could do anything he wanted with his life. Well, I suppose we all could, but you know how some people have just got a way with them. He’s a boy his Mother can be proud of ... well I say boy, he’s probably late twenties, but he seems youthful, full of spring lambs! I like that when I’m buying something. I want the person doing the selling to want me to be happy. Not to make me feel small or stupid, but to embrace my smallness and stupidity as if it were perfectly acceptable!

So fabulous is Carwyn at his job that I will almost miss him once the deal is done!

So, brass tacks! I need to experience sleeping in a caravan on the site to know how it feels. Carwyn waves his magic wand, Allah Shazzam! He has booked me, on the bank Holiday May weekend, into a van in the row where my potential van will be pitched, to Try before I buy. Told you he was good didn’t I!

So we shall see ... I’m going to ask Jeff to come with me though just in case I get scared because I have never stayed in a caravan on my own in my entire life!

I wonder if I will buy it? I wonder if this piece of heaven is going to be my creative retreat or if I just won’t be able to gift it to myself. I hope I do and I hope it’s the right thing to do and I hope that Carwyn hasn’t charmed the wool over my eyes.

Assuringly, I met an old couple on the way down to the beach at the end of the Wooded walk and they have been caravanning all their life. They have rented and owned and they said that in all this time, this site is the only one that they have stayed on all day. Usually, they use their van as a base and travel round, but it was so beautiful here, that they found no need to go away. Now that, is promising! Everyone I met and chatted with on my walk through the tree canopies and over wood chipped pathway, was smiling and happy, like we all lived in a parallel universe where the internet hadn’t been invented and all that mattered was walking the dog to the beach! BLISS!

But there are always sceptics ... locals in the pub telling me how much cheaper it would be for me to rent a van in a muddy field way out of the village without any views .. but why would I want to do that?

Maybe I should go back to the affirmation given to me last week by Emma:

I am my own authority ... (stop listening to ‘bloke in the pub ‘and follow your heart)

Love yourself unconditionally ... (love myself enough to gift myself this wonderful adventure)

Let’s see how we get on Saturday. I spoke to my Mum about it on the phone, and she reminded me about my disability and how this may be a problem with regard to the bed. I have a special mattress at home. Mmm, forgot about that! BANG CRASH LANDING! Back to earth with a horrendous thud!

But hey ho! Where there’s a will there’s a way!

Will keep you posted anyways!

Dolphin Dancing

Woke up super doper early today to the sun bursting across the harbour. HOOOOOORRRAAAHHHH!!! 

Where the boats had been fighting off the weather’s grip on their mooring, now sails were raised and ready to glide effortlessly into the beyond.

I think I almost ran down to the boat booking service and when I got here a really lovely young woman sold me a ticket for the 11.45 2 Hour Dolphin trip. How exciting is that! Honestly, life does not get better than this!

So I thought I would go and book my holiday cottage for the end of May so that I can come back for another 4 days of Fusion retreat, but the office was closed.

What’s a girl to do ... spare hour before the boat? BEACH! I ran down to the shell covered sand to look for mermaid scales.

I was the only person there! Just the sea, the sand, the shells and me, boiling in my parker, jumper, boots, jeans and heavy socks. I whipped off as much as is decent these days, rolled up my flowery jeans and went in paddling.

The water was so wonderfully freezing cold ... I walked along the coast line and every time I found a mermaid scale I said thank you ... to the universe I think for presenting it me, and the more I said thank you, the more I found.

I decided to stop looking and to just enjoy the experience: there’s a lesson in there! Honestly, as soon as I did this, I came across the only whole scallop shell that I have seen all the time I have been here in the millions and trillions of broken shells I have wandered through. It was a gift from nature, she likes Fusion Inspire, I can feel she does, she was showing me that I am taking the right path.

Minutes later, the most beautiful large half piece of scallop shell, moulded softly by the sand and sea in their rhythmic dance back and fore to the shore line, was at my bare bathed feet.

‘Oh Thank you’ I yelped into the sky. I think I will wear this piece during the live performances of the production.

I held it in my hand almost all day, so tactile, such a reminder of the joy felt at finding it.

So, the hour skipped by without a blink of the sunshine and I scurried myself off down to the little fishing boat bobbing in the sea. It was too shallow by the quay so we had to put on bright orange life jackets.

I had a giggle to myself because attached to the jacket was a little plastic whistle, which I couldn’t resist blowing. I made a little half hearted blow, like the trickle of water ... I couldn’t see anyone hearing it and coming to my rescue!

We climbed aboard a sort of dingy. It was terribly exciting. Very close to the water and thrilling. We were ferried to our boat and away we chugged.

I have got to tell you, it is quite possibly 2 of the most wonderful hours of my entire life!

The coastline from the sea is STUNNING and the view outwards is entrancing! The sun gave such a light to the vastness that it split the sea and sky backdrop into every shade of blue imaginable; like a water colour painting where the artist has managed to invent new unimaginable shades in just one colour. So beautiful that I almost wanted to weep.

All I had with me was my broken little hand held but as if by magic, from nowhere, up he came, the most beautiful and utterl magestic creature I have witnessed in my entire life, curving across the wave right in front of me. I thought my heart would stop. I almost wished I hadn't been filming and that I would have seen him with my own eyes rather than through my camera.

I am so utterly chuffed! I will be using this clip in the filmscape when the storyline is the dialogue between Cadfael & Dafydd.

I have had lots of moments like that this week. Where this coast line, our coast line, the western coast line of Wales, right here on our doorstep, is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life, And doesn’t that fit in with the whole story of the Dragon Tree, our Dafyydd on his quest finding that the key was with him all along.


Maybe I am Dafydd and this whole production is more biographical than I realised? I haven’t meant for that to happen, it’s not what I planned as I didn’t really ‘plan' anything, rather responded to opportunity presented and then write the narrative around those things, and now, I realise that the narrative in many ways, is my own; It seems this really is a Journey Through my Creative Mind!